What are the three types of handshakes?
What are the three types of handshakes? Core body language styles
Understanding physical greetings improves communication and prevents awkward professional interactions. The what are the three types of handshakes framework explains how subtle hand positions project power, compliance, or mutual respect. Learning these physical cues enhances social awareness, helps establish rapport, and prevents misinterpretation during critical introductions.
What are the three types of handshakes?
Before we dive in, lets clear up a common confusion. Depending on your context, this question usually has two entirely different answers.
If you are in IT, you might be thinking of the TCP three-way handshake used in computer networks. But in human psychology and body language, the three main types of handshakes are the dominance submission equality handshake styles.
Most tutorials teach you how to give a firm grip and maintain eye contact. But there is one counterintuitive mistake that most professionals make when trying to establish an equal connection - I will explain it in the neutralization section below.
Nonverbal communication dictates how people perceive you before you even speak. A proper equal handshake typically increases the likelihood of a positive initial interaction by up to 70%. Rarely does a single physical gesture carry so much weight. A bad one? That can take weeks of solid performance to overcome.
This is crucial because your initial physical contact sets the tone for the entire relationship. Whether you are walking into a job interview, meeting new colleagues, or closing a real estate deal, mastering this simple gesture gives you a silent, undeniable edge.
Decoding the Body Language: Dominance, Submission, and Equality
When you reach out to greet someone, you are doing much more than saying hello. You are establishing a subconscious power dynamic. I used to think a handshake was just a formality. I was dead wrong.
The Dominant Style
The dominant handshake happens when someone offers their hand with the palm facing slightly downwards. By forcing your hand to turn palm-up to meet theirs, they are subtly asserting control.
Lets be honest - this is rarely an accident. Politicians, aggressive negotiators, and traditional executives often use this to immediately establish superiority. They want the upper hand, quite literally. This approach usually forces the other person into a defensive posture before the conversation even begins.
The Submissive Style
Conversely, offering your hand with the palm facing upwards is the submissive style. You are metaphorically handing over control to the other person. Think of it like an open, yielding gesture.
I have never seen anyone win a tough negotiation after leading with a deeply submissive handshake. It signals a lack of confidence and yields the floor entirely. While it might seem polite, it generally puts you at a severe disadvantage in professional environments.
The Equal Style
The equal handshake is the gold standard for professional etiquette. Both palms face perfectly vertical, like a V shape pointing straight up toward the ceiling.
This signals mutual respect and collaboration. No one is trying to dominate, and no one is submitting. This is exactly what you want in business meetings and interviews. The average ideal handshake lasts about 3-5 seconds and uses a firm, but not crushing, grip.
How to Neutralize a Dominant or Aggressive Handshake
We have all been there. You walk into a meeting, reach out, and suddenly your hand is being crushed or twisted downward. The discomfort - and I know we all hate it - is immediate. My hands used to sweat just anticipating these encounters with certain clients.
Here is that critical mistake I mentioned earlier: trying to match aggression with aggression. When someone gives you a dominant handshake, your first instinct might be to squeeze back harder or violently twist your hand back to vertical. Dont do it. It just creates an awkward arm-wrestling match.
Instead, use the step-in technique. As you shake hands, simply step forward with your left foot into their personal space. This simple physical movement completely neutralizes their leverage. It forces their hand back into a vertical, equal position naturally.
It feels like magic, but it is just physics. By changing your center of gravity, you regain control without looking aggressive or defensive. It is a brilliant, subtle counter-move.
Beyond the Basics: Navigating Conflicting Advice
You will often find articles listing 7, 10, or even 15 different handshake styles - the dead fish, the bone-crusher, the two-handed shake, and so on. This can get incredibly confusing for someone just trying to improve their professional presence.
Are there really that many types? Not quite.
All of those quirky variations still fundamentally fall under the three core psychological categories. A bone-crusher is just an extreme version of a dominant shake. A dead fish is a variation of a submissive shake. The two-handed glove shake is a hyper-dominant move masked as extra warmth. Keep your focus strictly on the palm angle, and you will never misread an introduction again.
I spent years overthinking every minor detail of body language. It was exhausting. Once I simplified my approach to just looking for dominance, submission, or equality, everything clicked. You do not need a degree in psychology - you just need to watch the palms.
Decoding the 3 Handshake Types
When analyzing body language, focusing on these three core styles tells you everything you need to know about the other person's intentions.
The Dominant Style
- Facing slightly downward
- Desire for control and authority
- Step into their space to neutralize the angle
The Submissive Style
- Facing upward
- Yielding control, showing non-threat
- Accept gracefully, maintain equal pressure
⭐ The Equal Style (Recommended)
- Perfectly vertical
- Mutual respect and collaboration
- Match firmness and maintain eye contact
The Sales Pitch Power Play
David, a 32-year-old account executive, was pitching a major software contract to a notoriously tough procurement manager. He was nervous about making a strong first impression.
When they met, the manager extended his hand completely palm-down and squeezed hard. David's first instinct was to squeeze back aggressively to prove his toughness. The result was an incredibly awkward, tense five seconds that threw David completely off his pitch.
After losing that deal, David spent weeks researching body language. He practiced the step-in technique with colleagues. The next time he faced a dominant palm-down handshake, he didn't squeeze harder - he simply stepped forward with his left leg, instantly neutralizing the power dynamic.
The physical shift forced the manager's hand vertical. David felt an immediate surge of confidence, delivered his pitch flawlessly, and closed a contract roughly 40% larger than his previous average.
Further Reading Guide
Confused by conflicting articles that list 7, 10, or more handshake types instead of focusing on the main three?
Many guides list quirky variations like the dead fish or the bone-crusher. However, all these variations still fundamentally fall under the three core psychological categories: dominant, submissive, or equal. Focus solely on the palm angle to avoid confusion.
Unsure how to properly read someone's hidden intentions or personality traits from a quick hand gesture?
Look immediately at the angle of their palm and the firmness of their grip. If their palm angles down, they want control. If it is vertical with a matching grip, they respect you as an equal. It usually takes just 2-3 seconds to read this dynamic accurately.
Worried about accidentally giving a bad handshake that ruins a professional first impression?
To ensure a perfect equal handshake, keep your thumb pointing straight up to the ceiling. Maintain firm but not painful pressure, and pump from the elbow rather than the wrist. Consistency here builds instant trust.
Most Important Things
Vertical means equalAlways aim for perfectly vertical palms to establish mutual respect in professional settings and interviews.
Do not fight dominance with dominanceIf someone tries to twist your hand downward, step into their personal space slightly to naturally correct the angle without escalating.
Beware of the submissive trapOffering your hand palm-up yields control immediately - a critical error in high-stakes negotiations.
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